I was getting feedback from differing women that they loved me as a friend but they did not want a sexual relationship. This following is the result of my quest to look into men's dating secrets and why I was getting this feedback.
I believe that most women want a strong man that they can't dominate.
I would define a strong man is someone that knows his life purpose and stands up for what he believes in. A man that always tries to please his women to keep her happy is asking for trouble in the long term.
If she knows she can manipulate him to get what she wants always she will over time loose sexual interest in her partner. After all if she can manipulate him she will think any other women will be able to do the same so she will not trust him at all. For a women to really let go sexually usually requires that she totally trust her man.
Women's liberation has turned the focus on men to be more in their their hearts and to treat women with respect etc. However a lot of men have lost their way and become too wishy washy and weak.
Most men feel uncomfortable about their women's more negative emotional aspects. Standing up to a feminine women takes courage and most men like ease. They either run away or try to make suggestions on how to solve the women's emotional problems. This makes things worse!
If a man has not really cut the emotional neediness with their mother the women comes into his life and in 10 minutes knows how to take the place of their mother. Maybe she does this unconsciously but she know she can get what she wants. The man will never go and face this issue because it is a deep issue from childhood.
This neediness puts a tightness or band around the back of the mans heart area. The more often he does not act from integrity the more energy he looses and life looses the sparkle and challenge.
Also the man never challenges the women to face up to her little girl issues if he always gives in to her. Most women challenge their man so they can grow up. They can sense the true potential in their man and they want him to grow up. So they nag and challenge their man.
Can he stay present when she gets emotional. Can he not shut down when her kali energy comes out and she even can take on the appearance of a demon. I feel a man should also challenge the women to grow up too.
If a man is needy and wants sex, he tends to try to keep his women happy by not standing up or negotiating for what he wants. Funny enough, this has the opposite effect with most women,he gets a lot less sex. If you ask women how they react to needy men you will get strong feedback like yuk etc.
I remember a man telling me a wile ago that for 3 months he asked every available women out. He would even in the street walk up to a women and ask her out. At first he got the feedback to get lost etc. After asking many many women out he got to the stage that he did not care less if they said yes or no. He had got over his rejection response. As soon as he was not needy the women started to respond to him and some started to say yes.
I know a unique energy body worker that is my mentor in the sexual area. He is totally in his integrity. I would define this as he feels, thinks and his actions are all unified. He can give women orgasms from his tantra hugs, on the phone and even across the room. I have seen him in a introductory talk ask for a women from the audience and she lies down fully clothed. He moved his hands about 6 inches above her body and in 10 to 20 minutes she is in continuous orgasms.
I still reminder a hug from him that caused so much energy in my body that I had to push him away after 3 seconds. I have never before experienced so much sexual energy in his workshops either.
Women love his energy and his integrity. He never tries to please them to keep them happy. He is like a sex magnet and women tell their friends about the amazing energetic sexual experience they have had with him and recommend him to others. He can feel the women's energetic state in his body and he comes totally from his heart. Women ask him and pay him for tantric sex. He never has to ask for sex.
His message for men is to act from integrity. Most of what is on this page is inspired by him. Overcome your mothers issues and stand on your own two feet. Break free from the neediness for sex or to be in a relationship so you then can't be manipulated. Go into your energetic body especially during sex.
So how can you start to grow in this area. I've got a long way to go in this area in men's dating secrets so it is work in progress for me.
I feel you first must grow to love being uncomfortable and challenged. Learn to like being at your edge. Any relationship will provide many opportunities to grow up. Go for the scary option instead of the easy option. Every day so something that is scary or anything you have some fear around. I know this is hard but if you do this I have found you generate a lot more energy and bliss in your life.
I also try to remember during the day to go to my breath. Is it full and relaxed and am I using my belly in my breath. When I am challenged emotionally can I stay present and relaxed in my breath or do I tighten up.
Another practice I try to do is to hold the eye contact of a new women for 3 to 4 seconds and then smile and look away. Then come back to the women's eye contact. Do doing this practice you are showing you are not scared of the women and by looking way you show you are in control. A lot of men have trouble holding a women's eye contact. Women straight away know this is a weak man!
For more on body language see mens body language and reading body language
Maurice Tate is a sexologist that works with couples in improving relationships.
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